just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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