Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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