stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
