they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize