i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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