Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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