the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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