Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
3 2 1 whiskey
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
