they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
