Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize