Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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