So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize