I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
