I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do vagina's smell?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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