i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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