she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and she was petting her beer can
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
