you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
