Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
