i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize