just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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