hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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