And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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