Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
