just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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