my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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