the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
