I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
