Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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