She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
did you just send me my own nude
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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