Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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