My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
