I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
