I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
