I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
