I wish I could punch you in the face.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
