Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
