Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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