Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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