New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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