We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
