my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All the doctor said was why
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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