I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize