ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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