You work out of a Hotel?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
