Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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