so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
