And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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