she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
