even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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