just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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