I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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