Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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