Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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