'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
